I occasionally draw self-portraits. It’s a sort of a way to see myself both figuratively and literally. And also it’s a good practice of portrait. In the past, I often drew myself because simply I couldn’t afford to draw professional models and didn’t have many friends to practice portraits on. I have a few friends who were very understanding of me as an artist, but they were all I had. And by doing this, I discovered more of drawing a self-portrait

I have done several style of self-portraits, one thing I’m sure of is that self-portrait is such a pain in the butt to draw. The main reason can be that you have to be both the model and the painter, and doing the two jobs is apparently really stressful. I typically have an ache around my neck after a long session of self-portrait. As if focusing on the actual drawing is not enough, being a model also requires a lot of energy.

With that said, I still love doing self-portrait. It’s like paying the greatest attention that you can give to the growth of your own body. And there’s something of meditation-like aspect in this act of art that soothes my mind. When I draw my own eyes, mouth, or nose, there are things that I can notice only when I’m drawing such as the shape and texture of my face. And noticing those small features every time when I draw a self-portrait is one of the rare opportunities where you can notice the small changes in your body because it’s hard to keep track on small changes currently happening on your body, isn’t it? Things like how you grow, age and change, you only notice those things 10 years later when you see your old photos. And being able to do it right in the middle of the transition is something drawing self-portraits can only do(as far as I know)

And that’s why I keep drawing even if my back hurts from doing it.