===This is very different from the type of blog that I usually do.========

Every year since my freshman year of college, this early summer reminds me of the job I had at a hotel.

I was a waiter in a restaurant. This was my first job ever so it was the type of restaurant that people with no restaurant experience, or even work experience can apply for, but it was in a hotel so it required some level of hospitality .

To tell the truth, I hated it. Partially because that was my first job and I had lots to be learned, but also partially because I expected to be easy. I know, I was so naive. And that particular time period for me was hard too. I just came to Kobe from my hometown for college so I was very poor. I had to work to support myself financially.

I think some of you can understand it when I say the first job was the toughest even though my current demands more energy and responsibility.

I worked three days a week, on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. By the end of the weekdays , I would wish that my weekdays and boring college lectures were longer so that I didn’t have to go to work.

I was always slow at my work and I just didn’t want to disappoint my managers and coworkers. They were usually nice to me, but I was scared that I would make some mistakes and they had to step in and cover for me.

The restaurant was open for morning so I had to wake up before 5:00 a.m. And I still remember how I depressingly waited for the first train of the day to pick me up at the subway station.

Once, after the night shift, I realized that I didn’t have enough money in my wallet, and that was during weekend so I couldn’t withdraw money from the ATMs.(I was poor so I intentionally didn’t have much money in my wallet) I had to ask my friend to come over to the station and pay for my train ticket. I was able to go home that night thanks to that awesome friend of mine, but I foolishly forgot that I had the morning shift the next day so I still had no money for the one-way ticket of next morning(and ATM’s weren’t available in the early morning)

I called my manager the same night around 0 o’clock that I didn’t have money for the subway ticket so I couldn’t come. He laughed and told me to look for some dropped coins in my room. Understandably. I think he thought I was lying but I can’t blame him because that was the stupidest thing that came out of my mouth.

I shouldn’t have done this but I knocked on my neighbors’ doors to ask for money but they gave no response because that was 0 o’clock. Sorry my neighbors for knocking on your doors, I was eighteen and desperate and didn’t know better. Probably some of them were very scared.

Next morning I went to the nearest newspaper branch because they were the only place that was open in the early morning other than the convenience stores. I found an old guy so I asked him for money, he was very surprised , understandably. He was kind enough to lend me 230 yen, so I was finally able to buy the train ticket and I made it on time for the morning shift. I looked so desperate and tired. Later I gave him a bunch of bottled drinks and gave back money of course.

I have so many bad memories tied to the morning shift that just make me cringe every time I recall them. But I also liked some aspects of it. The hotel was located by the harbor so the view of the morning scenery was really nice. I would wake up early just so I can see the dawn before my morning shift. Often I brought my breakfast to the park beside the hotel so that I could eat it watching the beautiful scenery. I worked at the hotel in the summer so the wind was nice too. That was the little luxury I got to have during my poorest time. I still miss that feeling.

And every year when summer comes I just remember that scenery. To me that is the perfect example of “bitter sweet memory“. It was a shitty time for me but I’m glad I experienced it.